scraps of truth

i love packing.

so many random bits and pieces of my life fall into all the cracks between the places i'm paying any attention to at any given moment, and they all come out to play whenever i am packing.

*
i have the bizarre tendency to scribble random scraps of thoughts on used envelopes that always seem to fall between the cracks when i'm not looking.... and then i find them at the oddest times and have something to think about or laugh at or wonder what on earth i was thinking when i wrote them. like the one i found that simply said, "god in the blender."

yeah.

but today i found another bit of envelope truth from about two years ago that made me surprised that i had written it. especially because i can't remember writing it. it made me stop and think.

"i am able to forgive myself for being human. knowing that life is hard and virtue rare, i keep the ancient faith, believing it is better to love than to hate, and to live fully, even if imperfectly."

cheers, darlin's

it's 8.30 on the night before the midterm that i really [really really really really] need to do well on. so here i am. blogging, of course. what could be more natural?

i can't believe that i'm going home in a week. i really can't fathom it. there's so awfully much to do in the in-bewteen time that i'm going almost-but-not-quite insane.

i've been re-discovering people, of late. last night, leila told me that god has been showing her things through her solitude. well, god has been showing me things through my unsolitude. my friends are amazing. really, they are. don't laugh. they've taught me how to love more.

kimbell's poem to me
["when a riot of sunlight caresses our faces, we grow onward and upward, toward heaven" and there's something in your eyes... "it tickles me joyous"]

my poem to kimbell
["to be wrapped in the words and the thoughts and the flavors-
foreverness, sweet on our lips"]

coffee from abram, just because.
["double-shot espresso?"]
["you got it."]

georgetown with sarah, wet to the skin, and laughing and dancing and dreaming and
["we're wet. let's buy clothes."
"no. let's buy MORE PIZZA!"]

chinese take-out that wasn't really take-out, with adrienne
["i know, i know, i'm a biotch."
"nah. satan just talks to you a lot.]

charity and angelise and i in the hottest room on campus, and laughing crazily at three in the morning when that's all the energy that we have left .

[can i have an eeentsy weentsy tiny little backrub? again!]

jules and hannah and sarah in the dark in hannah's room

[i have money to give you!"]

-a long pause-

["NOOOOOOOOOO!"]


i am a quite firm believer in reciprocal affections.




so thank you, to all the ones who have helped me over rough patches. you've been a godsend. literally. here's to us. and if you ever need someone to keep up on an especially bad night... well, you have my number.